


Cracks Beneath (The White Liars Remix)

by fandomfrolics



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 12:33:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6079488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfrolics/pseuds/fandomfrolics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony comes back to Steve after Skrull Tony is found out. Or rather, he tries to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracks Beneath (The White Liars Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [(not) the same as it ever was](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2115552) by [laireshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi). 
  * In response to a prompt by [laireshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016) collection. 



> Most of the dialogue is from laireshi's original fic, which is absolutely gorgeous if you haven't read it yet.

Tony comes to in a hospital room and his whole body is aching. He barely has time to make out Peter’s face before a mask comes towards him and a voice instructs him to breathe.

“Steve,” he murmurs, and then he’s pulled under.

When he comes to again, Steve is there, like Tony’s last waking wish had conjured him. He’s fast asleep with his head by Tony's hip, still in his uniform, cowl pushed back. Tony’s hand creeps towards his hair. It feels weighed down both by the drugs in his system and the fear that this isn’t real - that he’s still back there in that basement while somewhere above a Skrull is parading around with his face and body and name (except that part was real, wasn’t it).

He strokes his hand through Steve’s mussed hair, knowing it’s more than likely to rouse him but he can’t resist it. He needs answers anyway.

Steve’s eyes part soon enough and he raises his head, blinking blearily.

“Hi,” Tony murmurs, trying to ground him.

“I’m sorry,” is Steve’s immediate response.

Tony supposes he should have expected that. “Not your fault,” he replies immediately but he can’t stand to look at the guilt in Steve’s eyes. He stares down at his hand, lying limp near Steve and he’s already regretting his decision to wake him. He’s not sure he’s ready for this conversation, not sure he’ll ever be. “Did he—Did he hurt you?”

Steve’s eyes squeeze shut. He neatly sidesteps the question. “How long?” he says instead.

Tony swallows hard. “After we got Sentry back,” he obliges. “I went back to scan the street. Don’t remember much after that.”

He watches Steve carefully, noting the strange play of emotions over his face and swallows again, his chest clenched too tight. Something isn’t right. “You didn’t answer,” Tony tries again, a plea to the words.

It’s Steve who won’t look at him now, who’s staring at the hand Tony had hidden his gaze in just a moment ago. He picks it up and presses a gentle kiss to the top of it.

“No,” Steve answers.

He’s always been a terrible liar.

***

They speak in half-conversations, both feeling they ought to talk about it but neither wanting to listen. Tony tries to offer Steve an out but it’s half-hearted at best. Because he’s selfish. He doesn’t want to think that everything they ever had might have been bottomed-out and destroyed by some stupid alien race with a power complex.

They’re each trying to hoard all the blame, taking turns with their apologies, and it’s utterly ridiculous to Tony because how could it be Steve’s fault? He’s the one that was tricked and— god, the things that Skrull must have done. He thinks of Steve's open, trusting face that lights up when he's around Tony, which never fails to bring a smile to Tony's own face, how sweetly Steve kisses him every morning, every night, every time they part, no matter how briefly. Thinks of that Skrull, that _creature_ , with its hands on Steve’s face, his body, while Steve just gives and gives and it makes Tony want to throw up everything in his body, makes him want to scratch his own skin off for the power it gave.

Jessica Drew comes with an update on the Skrull infiltration. The words are a punch to Tony’s gut.

“So it was just me,” he says, staring into his coffee as a fresh wave of guilt washes over him. He can’t look at Steve.

A part of him knows logically that it can’t be his fault, not all of it, but he can’t help but think there must be something he’d done to be singled out like that. Who else was there to blame?

“I guess the wedding is off, then,” Peter says and Tony’s muscles give out.

He vaguely registers the crash of his mug hitting the floor but it’s all he can do to remain standing upright. Somewhere behind him there’s the shriek of a chair moving and his brain musters up a whisper.

_Oh, Steve_.

***

“Are you ever planning on leaving this workshop?” Carol asks at his back.

“They were going to get married,” Tony breathes, a hand over his mouth. The nausea that had been lurking in his gut since he got back has intensified to an unbearable degree. “He was…”

He turns around, struck by a sudden thought. Carol raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?” she asks.

“Was it the— who proposed?” He’s not sure what answer he’s hoping for.

“Tony—“

“Just tell me!” He takes a deep breath, and in a whisper, adds, “Please.”

Carol sighs. “It was you that proposed.” She inhales sharply and quickly adds, “Not you. That thing. He was—“

“I got it.”

He’s having trouble breathing. Steve was going to _marry_ him.

“Tony—“ Carol tries again.

“I’d like to be alone,” he chokes out.

Carol gazes at him a moment longer and nods sadly. The door slides shut behind her before he lets the first sob go.

***

Another apology. Another fight over the blame, going round in circles, rage and regret and _immense_ _guilt_ simmering under both their skins.

_It was you that proposed_.

Round and round his head it goes.

_Not you. That thing._

_-that proposed._

_you- proposed_

“I should have noticed it wasn’t you,” Steve says.

_Not you._

_Not me._

_It wasn’t_ me.

“You couldn’t have,” Tony says, rote at this point. Steve’s face clouds over.

Tony stares at him, unable to bear it anymore.

“He proposed to you,” he whispers. “He proposed and you said yes.” He’s finally said the words out loud and he doesn’t know if it’s with wonder or pain or both.

“I thought it was you,” Steve replies and it breaks Tony’s heart.

Steve collapses into himself then, folds into a ball sitting on the floor and buries his head in his knees and it’s all Tony can do not to wrap himself around him. It’s when his his shoulders start to shake that Tony can’t take it anymore. He goes to the ground and gingerly leans into hug Steve, not sure who he’s doing this for more. Steve turns his head, tucks his face into Tony’s shoulder.

And Tony just holds on.

***

He tells Steve he’d marry him, just needing to get the words out into the ether. And then he’s stammering over a clarification, trying to articulate everything his head has been spinning through and something’s clearly getting lost because Steve suddenly snaps.

“Why are you with me? You’re a genius, you’re a futurist, I’ll never understand what you’re doing, you don’t need me –”

Steve is yelling and he _won’t look at him_ and goddammit they are not going out like this, not today. He wraps his arms tight around Steve, raises his voice loud enough to be heard over Steve’s frantic words.

“Steve. It’s not – god, Steve. I love you, okay? I’m a futurist, I can’t think of a future without you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you have to know that. You can’t help me in the lab, so what, I’ll never be on your level physically, does it mean I’m not enough for you, Steve –” His voice breaks. He’s known, this whole time, that something had been irrevocably changed – in their relationship. In Steve. But he’s starting to wonder how much of the Skrull’s work was made easier by Steve’s secret insecurities.

“Brutal strength isn’t –”

“Is that what he told you?” Tony spits. “Because I’ve _never_ thought that and I never will, Steve, you’re so much more than you think …” How had Tony never seen this? How was it possible that _he_ could make _Steve_ feel like less than? “I don’t deserve you at all,” he says.

“Stop saying that,” Steve fires back, with a heat that shocks Tony. “You deserve so much more— ”

“Listen to your own damn advice,” Tony snaps, fed up. “ _Stop saying that_ , stop _thinking_ that, just— trust me. Do you trust me?”

There’s silence for a moment, and then Steve peels Tony’s arms away from his torso and pushes him back gently and Tony’s chest tightens in fear. He runs his gaze over Steve’s face, trying to find what the other man is looking for.

“Yes,” Steve says and the relief is dizzying, the simple word enough to ever so slightly loosen the fist clenched ‘round his heart.

“Then trust me in this too,” Tony says. “I love you, and that’s it.”

Steve diverts his eyes, pauses for a beat that stretches on for eternity.

“Okay,” Steve says finally. He leans forward and wraps Tony in a hug again.

“Okay,” Tony repeats to himself, his chin hooked over Steve’s shoulder.

But Steve’s always been a terrible liar.


End file.
